Posted tagged ‘Chronic Illness’

Fatigue Monster

October 5, 2012

The BIG, BAD, Fatigue Monster has me again.  After having injections in my hip I got a virus that made me so sick for 4 days, then the fatigue monster took over and I can’t seem to shake it.  It has been a week since I first got sick with the virus and I am still so fatigued that I can barely get up much less STAY UP all day.  I have been sleeping 12 to 16 hours at a time and then taking a nap during the day as well.  I told my husband that I am so ready to get back to my “normal sick”.  With my chronic illness I am in constant pain and fatigue with numerous other symptoms and when I get an illness on top of that it is almost more than I can take.  I am even ready to get back to my “normal sick”.  I told my husband that it is weird to want to get back to ONLY being chronically ill.  Does that mean that I am ok with it or have accepted being chronically ill??  NO!!!  I still don’t like it one bit and I still haven’t accepted it, but it is what I am used to since I have been chronically ill with Severe Fibromyalgia for over 10 years now.  All I can say is the Fatigue Monster better watch out and go away soon or I will have my friends, family, and my fibro friends kick his butt!!

Shots!! Make the Pain Go Away…… PLEASE!!

September 28, 2012

I have been having so much back pain and hip pain that I have been getting Lumbar Epidural Injections and today I was sent to see an Orthopaedic Surgeon.  He ended up giving me a steroid shot in my bursitis area in my left hip.  He says that my left hip is covered in arthritis, bone spurs, pinching the nerve that causes my sciatica nerve issues.  My bruise is lovely that I got today.  The steroid shot  helped me so much by noon that I was doing little projects that I haven’t been able to do (just light work).  THEN, I went outside to get the mail and the grass was wet.  When I came back in I walked across our living room carpet in my tennis shoes, then onto the tile in the kitchen.  I made it by the refrigerator and fell so hard on my right knee and my left hip.  I pulled the area that had been hurting so much before the steroid shot in my hip.   AARRGG.  I was so upset that I called my husband to come home early to be with me.  I was in the floor crying, I was pissed, in pain, frustrated because every time it seems I get better I get knocked down with pain or fatigue in some way.  Right now I am pretty sick of this Fibro thing, the hip issue, and the back issue.  Someone make it go away!!!  They say that I will eventually need back surgery.  I won’t get pain relief from the sciatic nerve until I have the back surgery.  The nerve is being pinched so badly that all it knows to do is PAIN.  I also have the bulging disc, lots of arthritis, degenerative spurring, ventral flattening of the thecal sac, degenerative changes are most prominent at L4-L5 where there is a broad posterior and left foraminal disc protrusion with bony spurring.  There is moderate to severe left foraminal stenosis at L4-L5 with displacement and compression fo the exiting left L4 nerve root.  So……. sometime in the future I will be having back surgery.  They say this is the only thing that will help relieve my back and sciatica nerve pain.  I think I will try the shots for a while and when I just can’t stand it anymore – I wll schedule the surgery. 

So tell me – have you taken pain pills, pain shots, epidural injections for pain, steroid shots?  Tell me your experience I would love to hear it.

WARNING! Fibro Person Coming Your Way!!

September 25, 2012

“Fibro Colors” posted this today on Facebook and maybe here as well (not sure).  I can relate to this SO well.  I think some of it is due to Fibro Fog.  Not only do I trip over invisible things – I run into the same door knobs walking through the hall day after day (my arms show the bruises), and hit the same door frames with my arms.  If I am coming your way…… WATCH OUT!

I’m a Chronic Illness Warrior!!

September 12, 2012

Living a life of chronic illness can be really draining and it steals a lot of our lives.  I try to stay positive and push myself to do as much as I can.  Somedays my body just feels like staying in bed.  I feel like I have the flu, with fatigue, and severe pain.  I try to get up and do something – ANYTHING – to get out of bed.  I find this gives me a little energy, makes me feel better mentally, and I can help around the house as well.  Sometimes I water my flowers, sometimes “play in my flowerbed”, do a little housework, visit my Mother-in-Law, or have lunch with a friend.  I haven’t been able to get out and shop recently due to my back and hip issues, so I feel a little home bound.  Let’s pray that we all have less pain and extra energy!!  Blessings!

So Fatigued I Can’t Open My Eyes

July 30, 2012

WHAT??  You can even open your eyes?  Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it?  Well…. yesterday was one of those days.  I started the day with lots of pain.  Pain in my hips, legs, shoulders, and hands.  I was in so much pain that I decided to take a pain pill.  It took longer for the pain pill to kick in but once it did it reduced my pain significantly.  I don’t know about you, but pain pills give me a spurt of energy – the type of energy that you just have to get up and do something.  When my spurt of energy started I decided to clean up my closet.  I took it easy but was able to make it look so nice.  Then the spurt of energy was gone.  Not only was it gone, but now EXTREME Fatigue kicked in.  When this happens I just have to go to bed.  I was in bed for the rest of the day and night.  I slept all night, but during the day yesterday I just napped off and on.  The fatigue was the extreme kind that I get periodically and I don’t even have the energy to open my eyes.  I had the tv on for some noise, but I could only lay with my eyes closed plastered to the bed.  I did some tossing and turning to try to stay comfortable since some of the pain returned as well.  It was the kind of fatigue if you have ever had it you know what I mean….. it was all I could do to breathe.  My sweet husband would come in to check on me periodically and I could hear him sneak in to not wake me.  I would say “I’m awake Sweetie, I am just still too tired to open my eyes”.  We would talk for a couple of minutes and then he would go on so I could rest.  I am still pretty fatigued today, but able to at least be up and actually HAVE MY EYES OPEN! 

Why me??

May 31, 2012

If you are like me you have asked that question a hundred times.  Why do I have severe fibromyalgia, why do I have osteoarthritis, why do I have lower back issues,  why do I have constant pain, why do I have to be so fatigued, why did I have to quit my career at a company that I loved, why did this have to affect my family so much, why did this happen to me so my family has to worry about me, why do I have to have fibro fog, etc.

I mostly ask these questions when I have a high pain level that makes my fibro fog increase as well.  When this happens I can’t think clearly and I feel like the weight of this illness is crashing down around me.

When I ask myself these questions I normally think that if someone in our family had to have this illness and suffer so much – WELL, I would rather it be me that anyone else.  I wouldn’t want my husband or children have constant pain and fatigue along with a list of symptoms as long as my arm.  I wouldn’t want my parents, mother-in-law, or brothers to have this terrible, chronic illness.  So if I had to choose…. I would rather it be me.  I wouldn’t wish this disease on anyone!  I am trying to cope and accept this illness, but it is very difficult.  If only I could have one day without pain, or one hour without pain, or EVEN one minute without pain, I would give anything and give God the glory.  Fibro fog is the symptom that I hate the most, but the pain is all consuming and never stops.  I am always somewhere on the pain scale of 1 to 10 – I normally stay somewhere between a 3 to a 10.  A question that my husband asks me frequently throughout the day is “What is your pain level?”  It is like he is my caretaker, but he like to know so he can better help me at the time.  We have been married 32 years and he is a keeper.  He wants to help take care of me the best that he can and tells me frequently that he will always take care of me.  This is very comforting to know because there are people out there that are single or single parents that don’t have the awesome support that I have from my husband.  I don’t know how they cope.  I guess if you have to you just do it.

My husband and I talk frequently about why I have this illness.  We think that maybe it is so we can help others that are dealing with an illness or pain of any kind  in their life.  Sometimes it is all I can do to just take care of myself and then sometimes I am able to get out a little and I will run across an opportunity to help others.  I also blog and post on facebook to hopefully help others and in return it helps me as well.

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think about this and how you cope with the question “Why me?”

I wish for you a low pain day with extra energy! 

Do What Makes You Happy!

May 25, 2012

Life is so busy and can become complicated especially if you have a chronic illness.  I USED to want my house tidy and clean, but I have learned to take care of myself, DO WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY, and then do what I can in the house.  My husband helps as well.  I have plenty that I could do today in the house, but I woke up at 2:00 this morning in pain and couldn’t sleep after that.  At 5:00 when my husband woke up we went outside, sat in our comfortable lounge chairs, enjoyed some coffee, and talked until he had to get ready to go to work.  Then….. I did one of the things that I enjoy so much and is even relaxing.  I watered my flowers, shrubs, and veggies.  Yes, this is something that is enjoyable to me!  Other things I love to do that “make me happy” – just being with my husband and boys, weeding my flower and veggie beds, pool therapy, calling to check on  my Dad & Mom, talking with friends/family or going to lunch, talking with my mother-in-law, making a special dessert for my family, spending time with the Lord,  sending a card or emailing friends that are in another state, getting a massage, going for a manicure, getting a pedicure with a unique design, visiting my parents and family in my hometown, looking at family photos, staying connected with family/friends on Facebook, listening to country music, having a cook-out with all of the neighbors, getting a call from my brothers, and many other things.

My point is life is too short and we try to do too many things and by doing this we sometimes miss out on the important things in life.  Also with a chronic illness I never know from one minute to the next on when I will be too sick to take advantage of doing the things that make me happy.  I have found that sometimes when I am in great pain instead of going to bed or resting on the couch like my body seems to want to do I can go outside and spend time watering or weeding.  Because it is something that I love to do –  it sometimes helps me push through the worst of the pain.  This doesn’t always work but it is worth a try.

For the chronic pain sufferers  – I hope for you a low pain day with extra energy.  Remember, DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!!


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